Tuesday, May 29, 2007

A looong update

I'm sorry! I left you in the dark for a long time!

But here's a nice long post about all I've been up to.

The nineteenth was my first time clubbing, and I had a fantastic time. My best friend and my 'older brother' came with me, quotations because unlike what I imagine a real older brother would be like, he knows I have an active sex life and can watch me writhing against a guy who's biting my neck and making me moan on a dance floor without killing. Um, that story comes later in the post.

So we go, and my best friend's late...And I thought he was later, but it turned out I was waiting INSIDE and he was waiting OUTSIDE...When my 'brother' went out for a smoke, he found him. I paid his cover and he ordered me my drink. First legal drink! Yay! Something 'strong and blue'. I think it may have had rum in it, I'm not sure.

We follow that up with jagerbombs, which gives me the discovery that Jagermeister is DISGUSTING AND I HATE IT. I didn't even finish the shot of Jagermeister, I gagged on it like I did on the first guy who tried to get me to deepthroat. I was so thankful for the chase of Red Bull I could have kissed the bartender. C (best friend) finished the Jagermeister shot for me, aside from the bit that spilled on my shirt.

The last drink for me was my drink of choice - Triple Black Smirnoff, the drink that rocks my world but doesn't make me drop my panties immediately and dance on a table. The one that does that is tequila, which rocks my world even more, but still turns me into an even bigger slut than I am.

And the people! I spent the better portion of the night dancing real close to a guy who turned out to have a girlfriend, but he's nice anyhow. I also made out with a random girl on the dance floor and got lightly tapped by a flogger in the hand of a total stranger - Although an attractive total stranger. I got in a cab when I finally got tired and stumbled into bed when I got home, content and drunk and woke with a hangover.

That day, I finally joined IMVU, far behind most of the crowd. And in my first night, I met a nice guy. I thought he was a nice guy. Added to friends. Cybered. Etcetera.

The next day, I was supposed to meet my friend C for some scarification - I'd do his designs, he'd recut the spiderwebs on my breasts and we'd have some smokes. He stood me up. I went into the mall. I bought a new toy and batteries for all my toys - More on that new toy in a separate entry, it deserves its own.

Then I came home. To my new friend. That night mostly consisted of me going on mic for him while I got myself off - The first time I'd ever done that, and while I enjoyed it, I'd rather do it without having to be quiet to avoid detection by the parents. Legality aside, they still don't need to know my sex life.

Even outside the cybering we seemed to click. So well. We both were big on reading and writing and such. We both wanted to be appreciated. Etcetera. I was looking for a dominant guy, he was looking for a submissive girl.

We repeated the process the next night, and the night after I went on cam for him.

The next day, I found out the kicker. I mentioned my liking for girls. The man flipped.
And that is how I found out my online lover was a hardcore homophobe. I can handle a guy not being a fan of gay guys, I can see why it'd be disconcerting to have a guy come onto you if you're not into guys. I mean, most lesbians I know can handle a man hitting on them. Most gay guys I know can handle a woman hitting on them.

Something in a straight guys mind frequently seems to be wired that cock should never touch cock.

This guy just went a lot farther. In moments, the guy who had called me perfect was making me feel worthless and inferior over my bisexuality.

Needless to say, I was upset. I cried. I could still cry over it now. He had seemed like a great guy but he just couldn't handle me liking both genders, and you know what? It's both okay and not okay at the same time.

I'm not encouraging homophobia, but I can understand where he was coming from. He probably got it drilled into his head that not being straight is WRONG from an early age. It's not all his fault.

However, he could have made a better choice in his reaction. He had a girl that up until her bisexuality was perfect. It wasn't like I was going to leave him for a woman. I am extremely devoted to some people, as long as they're willing to show me the same devotion. We could have worked something out.

But he wasn't willing and, upon my final reaction that I showed him (I told him to shove a pineapple up his ass. Fully warranted, I was crying and upset at losing him), responded with an immature message on my IMVU profile calling me an emo whore.

This means that I don't care if he ever comes crawling back, looking for forgiveness. I have my pride.

And of all the things the one other man I truly hate has done, not once has he called me emo or a whore. No, H has always recognized me as a capable, powerfully sexual woman who happens to be submissive and promiscuous. He respects those parts of me. He has taken advantage of them, and I hate him, but he would never talk down to me or about me for such a reason as a well-warranted insult or my sexuality. He knows I hate him. He loves the insults. If ever we tangle between the sheets again, I'll have a burning submissive ass from the beating it'll earn me.

Now, moving on.

My first reaction to that emotional onslaught, after crying, swearing, and resent, was to drink. My father is anti-alcohol, so this drinking had to wait for Saturday.

So I returned to the club.

I ran into R, my now older brother, and his girlfriend A there - A is gorgeous! R is a truly lucky man.

I had some Djarum blacks.

My former lover showed up with his flavour of the week and flaunted her in front of me. I drunkenly, like an idiot, talked to him.

And then I danced. And I danced. I danced with my friend from the first time, and effectively established him as someone I'm comfortable dancing with in a sea of strangers.

I danced with M, who let me dance with his glowsticks - I think I sucked but I can only get better with practise.

And then I danced with D. D, who is easily the best thing I've found offline in a while. He knew to bite and suck and lick my neck without being told. He knew I like both the gentle, pecks of kisses and the sloppy, tongue-tangled ones. He knew how to do both.

He knew how to ensnare me, and he did so on a crowded dance floor. We continued that long, dancy courtship for a few hours.

Then my dear 'brother' pulled me outside for a smoke and to grill me. This is where R is like my brother - He was worried. I had to give him all the info I knew about D, assure R that I was sobering up and fully consentual and knew what I was doing, and that I'd be fine.

He let me continue.

We continued. It came to the question of me going to his place.

I went.

And it was amazing. First off, D is a gamer, and his favourite game is first-person-shooter. I have an odd fetish for first-person-shooter games, dating back to H.

Second off, D knows how to drive me insane...Get me off...And cuddle.

I was not neglected with D. He took care of me, he cuddled up afterwards, he's affectionate like I am...And we repeated after waking up.

I hope to have another encounter with D. I truly enjoyed myself.

And now, I am sick, and sore, but happy.

- Gypsy