Tuesday, September 14, 2010

30 Days Of Letters, #1 - To My Best Friend

When I read the first of Essin' Em's 30 Days Of Letters (Done before her by other bloggers whom I keep intending to read in length), I was intrigued. And now I'm giving it a go myself.

The first one is to ones best friend. This wasn't a hard one at all for me - I've had the same best friend, C, for four and a half years now, and he's one of the most awesome guys I've ever known.

Dear CW,

Before you, despite having made countless friends in high school, it had been years since I’d really considered anyone to be my Best Friend. As you know, the best friend prior to you turned toxic before I even hit fourteen, and I’d been unable to really talk to her before that point. What good is a best friend if you cannot tell them everything? I could tell my other friends anything, and I knew it, but I didn’t.

Then I met you. At first, I had a crush. And I fell. And it didn’t work out, but I knew there was something more than acquaintanceship there. I told you things in mere days that had taken me years to tell other people. You understood me. You encouraged me. You reached out and held my hand when I needed it most. Through every broken relationship, fight with other friends, horrible experience, ridiculous crush, everything - you kept me from completely going over the edge.

It was to you I first told how much time I had spent lying to people, and what those lies are, and I still remember lying next to you on my bed bawling my eyes out as you read the journal entry that spilled every little bean. And then when you were finished you held me, and forgave me. I never expected anyone to forgive me for those lies; true, they were hardly harmful, but I had spent four years at that point telling them. I thought for certain everyone would peg me as untrustworthy. With you forgiving me, I was able to tell other people, no longer as concerned since with my best friend on my side, I wasn’t scared of losing people by telling them - I was scared of losing them if they found out without me telling them.

Four years later I have yet to go back to those lies. I’ve eliminated nearly every trace of them. I still wish they were true, yes, but everyone wishes their life could be incredibly awesome. I have you to thank for that.

You dragged me into all kinds of nerddom, was my first contact with the wilds of D&D and I wouldn’t have started playing, or successfully made my first character, if it weren’t for you. I can discuss anything nerdy with you, and sometimes, on some subjects, I out-nerd you (Like how I knew how to make lists on facebook to separate out groups of people). And then I get to teach you something. You understand my inability to explain how to do something without showing how, something which infuriates a lot of other people for some reason. You can still call me at three AM if something is direly wrong and you need someone to talk to.

I always have and always will value your friendship more than anything else. You’ll always be number one to me, Muffindust, and don’t you ever dare forget that.