Picking Up

...A long time after having left off.

At some point, writers block hit hard for the sexy stuff - just as I thought I was over the worst of the depression and that drama was a non-issue, both started cropping up in spades.

Lad and I were having some pretty bad arguments, about piddly shit for the most part. All it took was a misunderstanding of tone for us to rip into each other. This lasted for a while, actually, but things are improving steadily now (I actually realized today that we haven't fought in over a month - YAY!). Our sex life dipped into an all-time low. My physical health was on a rollercoaster, and while some days I was happy, most days I just felt like crap.

Then the Other Girl started trying to re-connect with Steven. She attempted to convince him to hook up with her days before my birthday. Needless to say, I nearly had a coronary. He refused, and told her to screw off, but it hasn't deterred her any. If she keeps it up, I'm going to encourage him to report it to his managers as sexual harassment (They work at the same - huge - store). I'm doing my best to not interact with her, although I certainly don't hesitate to glare if I see her. He's mine.

Around July-August-ish we closed the relationship. At the time it was because we were still fighting too much, too often, so we decided to close it to focus on ourselves and each other. It worked. We haven't explicitly opened up again, but there's always the possibility. When we have a more defined timeline for moving out, we'll likely sit down and discuss it in detail. Define the rules clearly and, if we do re-open, spell them out in large print for any potential partners.

I'm still jobless, and not for lack of trying. I seem to hand in resumes left, right, and center...And get maybe one interview for all the effort. I'm grateful to be under Lad's healthcare, as it'll help pay for my synthroid and, come warm weather again, my epipen. I hate the emptiness in my bank account though, and I need to find a job.

Now that I'm back, I may finally build my blogroll. Take some new dirty photos. Get my mojo back. Because I'm not ready to be gone - I want to live and enjoy it.

Further Update On The Other Girl

I have laid down an ultimatum.

She has a week to stop clinging to Lad and whining whenever he won't put her ahead of me, his family, and his band/close friendships. If she doesn't, I am putting an axe on their relationship.

I am starting to think that, on the romantic side of being open, we would be better off finding someone we're both interested in. Who demonstrates maturity.

I'm so glad I'm not that interested in openness as a way to find a second love to augment Lad and I. I have Techno Sex God, who is disinterested in the romance thing with me, to ensure my high libido doesn't drive me nuts. That is all I need.

*Sigh* Another massive update post. My life fluctuates too fucking much sometimes.

Okay, first off - Oh my god I'm sorry I promised XXXMas postage and less anger. Well, I can't deliver too well on less anger, but here's some XXXMas - And some New Years while I'm at it.

That was indeed Lad's XXXMas present, prior to him receiving it. It looked very similar after receiving, just a lot redder.


On the second, I believe that was. I might be wrong, being jobless and penniless has blurred the days together. But hey, it gave me time to get healthy...And bored...And on occasion...

...Ticked off.

Okay, I enjoy the presence of the other girl. I need to come up with a good name for her. But she's cute, and sweet, and we get along smashing.

But there's a problem.

See, she lives at home, and cannot move out at this point. Her parents are rather intolerant of alternative lifestyles (They call her a slut for kissing Lad - They would shit a brick if they knew that I endorse this, and what I get up to. Imagine what their reactions would be if they knew of the lifestyles some of the people I read religiously have!), and she therefore has to act as a good girl in their eyes. It occasionally escalates to an even more abusive situation. Now, having been a victim survivor of familial physical abuse before, this makes me worry about her. If I could rescue her at this point, I would. I'm very much the Knight In Shining Armor when it comes to my female friends, and I have a very definite tendency to jump to save someone.

But.

I feel she is clinging to Lad. Too much. See, she and I have each other on MSN. At first, this was nifty, aside from the fact that she uses ten bazillion icons, and I...Don't. I use an occasional smilie, because Best Friend managed to get me to loosen up enough, and then I got addicted to nifty ones. She can barely type one sentence without one. But I digress. Lately, when Lad's been working, or has had other plans, such as sleeping because his sleep patterns and his work schedule dislike each other, she has been most insistant that I tell him to get online. Excuse me? He's my fiance, if he is sleeping or partaking activities with me, whether they be screwing my brains out or playing Wii while I watch and be helpful (Or provide him with creative swears), then that is the priority. I am not going to put you over me. I am not going to put you over him getting proper rest.

She needs to find other ways to get the affection and care she deserves without interfering with the way Lad and I work together. I know it's not her intent to hurt us, but this is frustrating me to no end. And I am going to talk to him about this. I know he cares about her, but pandering to her when she wants love and affection without making sure I'm not in need of any at the moment myself is not going to affect us in a healthy way.

The Dumbass made the mistake of trying to get me to prioritize him over Lad. I don't want that to happen on the other side as well.


On a brighter note, my mental outlook on life is improving. I have not felt any urges to hurt myself in over a week. New Years Eve and Day went excellently for me, I spent them with friends and with Lad and we had a blast, all of us. I found my SSN card, so I can now go job-hunting with ease...

...And I reconnected with Techno Sex God, who is interested in reconnecting in that wonderfully sexual way. *Smirky smirk* Life, clingy other girlfriends aside, is looking up.