Oh, god, could it be the weather.

I am now jobless.

I thought it would hurt more. Instead, it feels as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can have my social life, some time to regain my sanity and put myself back in a healthy mental place.

It's been a bit since I last posted.

For about a week in November I had a dominant who wasn't my Lad. I neither desire nor find it appropriate to discuss this, other than to inform you of it, and that I'll refer to him as...I have no idea yet. I'll come up with something.

Writers block is cruel and unusual punishment.


Here, have a photo showing my face as my apology for the briefness of it all.

Things Are Looking Up - Well, Kind Of

Okay - First, an update on what's going on at work.

The first new girl pulled a no-call-no-show after being late for three out of four training sessions, so I got to keep my regularly scheduled hours, but we have a second new girl now, who actually managed to keep the job (Although my opinion of her ability to keep the merchandise fronted is low, and I'd like it if she would put some communication into the communication book. So, I'm back on Sunday-Monday-Tuesday shifts, but I don't mind as much because...

A) On my first Sunday shift in three months, we made over $900 dollars in sales. Most days we are lucky to haul in $300, some days we don't even get $50. Needless to say, while I detest hauling ass out of bed to go to work on Sundays, I am quite willing to do so if all the Sundays up to the holiday season are so busy.

B) The Lad and I have moved in with his family until spring, when the weather is warm again and we are ready to move. It's taken some adjusting, and means even less frequent sex, but so far so good. Plus, I am somewhat considering taking a week in the early spring to go visit my parents at last.

Our cat seems to have adapted by amping up the cute - We adapted to our cat being suddenly deposited in a household already holding four cats and two dogs by replacing his collar with a harness for ease of grabbing should we need to get him out of any situation.

Self-Righteous Indignation

So, essentially, I am PISSED.

I got into work today to discover that, without any consultation with me as to whether or not it still works for me, I have been put back on my old hours, which is both dropping me back down to 15 hours a week (Five hours less than what I need for benefits, so there goes my employee motherfucking health insurance), and dragging my ass out of bed at 9 on Sundays, which I am PISSED OFF about.

Nobody even thought to give me a call to ask if I was still cool with working Sundays, which I am NOT. I enjoyed working Monday - Thursday and having a three day weekend, as opposed to Sunday - Tuesday and having to deal with the crappy public transit on Sundays.

I had heard of the company that owns us being bad at management before, but I didn't think they'd pull this shit. It may be time for me to start looking quite intently into a new job.

I love working there, but being enthralled by the new toys when new stock comes in and such is not outweighed by $300 per paycheck BEFORE deductions when we have to pay rent and bills and for groceries. Especially since we're moving and have to pay security deposit as well.

This is fucking ridiculous.

An update.

So, you've probably all noticed that lately it's for the most part been negative in this blog...Stress has been riding high, much to my aggravation.

I let that stress just lift today. Let it just rise off my shoulders. It's not going to help any. I'm sick of crying over stress.

And I'm letting the reason behind this lift off both of our shoulders, since it's just hurting both of us and frustrating us.

He's got a paying job again, as does Best Friend, we've got a lovely girl living with us as well who's working on getting a job, and we're making progress on finding a place, although time is ticking.

I need to eat better, but I'm doing my best.

Work is going well, and there is now porn being shot across the street, which will hopefully up the sales in our slow little store. After all, the fact that it's going on is no secret (The location was fairly well given in a newspaper article in one of the two major papers), so I imagine soon we'll have some looky-loos coming around, getting curious. And, well, more sales is good.

One of our regular customers that always kinda gave me the creeps before finally TALKED to me the other day, and now I don't mind when he comes in. I like it when my customers actually talk to me, and engage me in conversation - Then A), I don't want to just go back to my book / dinner, and B), making a sale is ten times easier since I feel much more inclined to recommend products and give advice to FRIENDLY people.

I discovered recently that one of our practically-vintage flavoured lubes has mineral oil as a second ingredient and almost lost my dinner on the floor. *Sigh* Ew.

I'm working on a compendium of what ingredients each of our lubes has, then I'll be moving on to the oils and bath products. Mostly so that I can offer it to any customers browsing with intent to buy, so that they can compare what has what and ensure they're not buying something they'd be allergic to (Case in point - Lad has allergies to both sunflower and safflower oil when they're on his skin, so any products with either are unfortunately only for me. We have learned both of those the hard way - Luckily, hopping in the shower and washing it right off with oatmeal body wash helped a lot). As well as avoiding anything that's just gross (I don't know how ANYONE can use Joy Jelly...).

After that, I'll be starting from one end and going to the other to gauge the strength and noise levels of every vibrator we carry, in a style much like Babeland, just printed on paper. Eventually I'll plug it all into the computer and arrange it in some semblence of order (Either alphabetically or by price range - Price range might work better, considering how many customers seem to be looking for the best thing for the least cost. *Rolls eyes* Because, of course, they simply can't put aside that money and save a bit more for the one they realllly want but is an oh-so-expensive twenty bucks more. Big words coming from the woman that keeps on saying she's going to buy a vibe that only costs thirty, but when you're paying rent, bills, groceries, and trying to move, money dissapears fast).

Essentially, yeah, I've got ambitions. Ambitions that will one day be printed out stylishly, dropped into a lovely pink binder to suit our stores decor, and kept within reach - Which will hopefully derive notice from the higher-ups, and maybe that will let them look past my dislike of upselling, since at least I'm going to TRY to give my utmost service to our customers. Now, if only I could watch the porn and review that in the book. Then the next time I'm asked for a good movie recommendation, I can actually give one - Instead of being tempted to tell them to go find free torrents, since then if it sucks your wallet doesn't feel sad. On the other hand, largely our porn seems to run towards the fake and the horribly unnattractive, so maybe I ought to be glad for the lack of viewing privileges. No need to waste my time on crap when I should be filling boxes.

But in any case, it's almost 1 in the morning and I ought to be in bed, not sitting on my arse in front of the laptop - I've got some interesting tales of work waiting, so I'll do my best to post those tomorrow evening.

- Gypsy

Frustration.

So. Work.

I subbed at one of the other stores in the company yesterday, and it turned out part of my time there was spent under the regional sales manager. Who is one bump under the owner of the company in terms of power.

I went to work in professional-ish black pants, a black tank top under a black lace shirt with ruffles under a black button-up shirt, with black boots. This is what I wear every day, true, but the corporate dress code also, summarily, wants us to look like 'respectable ladies'. Now, never mind that I usually state 'I'm no lady, I'm a bitch' when my friends refer to me as a lady - I respect corporate code and don't want to be oggled by customers too much anyhow.

This woman comes to work, or at least was working yesterday, in a too-tight-tube-top that accentuated her rolls quite unflatteringly, with her wide bra straps fully visible, as well as the back strap, a tight white pleather belt with large gaudy buckle, and too-tight black pants, with flip-flops.

Everyone else in the company dresses in a mature, professional fashion... *Headdesk* Her attitude gets my goat as well, and my stomach hurt pretty much the entire time that I had to deal with her, and I now see why people quit because of her.

I needed tequila last night. I also cried from sheer hatred of this woman. I don't truly hate that often, but she's got it.

On the upside, that store has the pure wand from Njoy in stock and I am now in the process of puppy-dog-eyeing at the lad to see if he'll buy it for me. I wanted one before, now that I've held it in my hand and felt its heft, I want it yesterday.

I prefer to say it dot dot dot.

I had an interesting, intellectually stimulating post simmering in the back of my mind.

Then there was forums, and then eating, and my cat decided that he was feeling playful, so I now have claw marks on my leg, and I got a bit tipsy earlier so my brain was already fucked up, and then I made videos (That I'm not linking to for now), and, well, that post disappeared into a vast abyss.

So, let's have a recant of my day instead.

I woke up around 9:30 to my alarm. I muttered and whined for ten minutes, got up, finished getting ready for work around 10, went back to cuddle for twenty minutes (It's a ritual I have - On days when I work, since I leave for work when he's still in bed, I get ready as fast as I can and then come back upstairs, set my alarm for about ten minutes before I have to leave, and cuddle up again so that we can maximize our cuddle time. I work day shift and he works night shift, so our schedules on days I work are completely wonked. On days I don't work, it meshes perfectly), and then left in the drizzle.

Work was alright, new stock (I swear that corporate ignores all requests from us and customers and just sends what they see we've sold) was in. I put it away. Then I had to vacuum, and our vacuum is a piece of SHIT. I swear the thing was made in the stone age. There is TAPE holding it together.

So I vacuum, and it drives me nuts because older vacuums are always so heavy and my lower back was sore as it was.

I have to turn it off when a customer comes in, and he takes forever and a day to select a fake vag, but that's no problem.

The problem was the phone call.

Some wanker calls to ask about penis pumps. Do we have electrical ones? Okay, no biggie. No, we don't. Do we carry manual pumps? Sure do - And here I notice the fapping noise. And 'Oh yeah, that's good.'

...

Him: "Do you carry electric pumps?" *fapfapfap*
Me: *Sternvoice* No.
Him: Oh yeah. Do you like big cock?
Me: *Disconnect*

You wanna talk dirty? Call a PSO. That's their area of business. I just sell sex toys, lube, and porn. And lingerie that, for the most part, quite frankly looks like shit. And condoms. And novelties. But not myself, not my body, voice, words - Nothing that is of me.

I think he may have been the same jackass from last Tuesday who repeatedly asked the same questions about keeping his cock hard in a breathless voice. Who called three times in twenty minutes. When he was starting the same cycle of questions almost ten minutes after I was off the clock and therefore not getting paid to tell him about rings for his cock, I disconnected.

I love giving advice, but when you mistake my willingness to give advice / my job with willingness to be your personal masturbation fantasy, you cross a line. Go ahead, wank while thinking about me, but frankly, most of the time I don't want to hear it. If I do, I will make it clear that I do.


Would you like to know what happens when I say I'll finish a post the next night? I completely forget what else I was going to warble on about.

So I'll wrap this up by saying that I love watching Are You Being Served? on YouTube at nearly three in the morning.

Frustrations

Life is spiraling back down lately, and with it goes my mood. Lately, I've had more mood swings than I used to, and I don't like it at all. But this time, at least, I can pinpoint the majority of the reasons behind it.

1) We came awfully close to being evicted, all because my fiance's best friend ignored him when he told him to turn his amp down when playing guitar, so I got bombarded with phone calls and shit while I was at work and wound up crying in the change room for a little bit. NOT how a girl wants to spend her work time.

2) I came down with swollen tonsils, sore throat, congestion, and all that fun stuff the next day. And woke up the day after that with a horrible toothache. I'm typing now and not curled up in a corner whimpering because of Oragel. The tonsils are kinda coming and going, throat's only sore after I cough, but the cough I developed Friday/Saturday is worse than the toothache, and my ribs are so fucking sore.

3) Friday night our bathtub drain got clogged. It still isn't clear. Someone should be by tomorrow or the next day to unclog it, but it's driving me NUTS. ><; I want to take a fucking shower!

4) My laptop is being cruel and unusual. *Cries*

5) ...No sex. *Cries* Vibrators just aren't the same when you want to be pounded into and then cuddled in the aftermath.


In other news, that doesn't depress me...

On Monday, at work, I talked to a man for a good hour. At first it seemed fine and normal to me, he was nice and young so I had no problems answering questions about myself (Unlike questions from men my fathers age, which, while it may be biased, always freaks me a bit that they're asking about my sex life - My mind tries to superimpose my fathers face over theirs, and then I have to control the impulse to scream)...And then my little internal creep-dar started beeping. I don't know why the damn thing didn't kick in until then (Unless the cold syrup is the reason), but I started feeling on my guard. After several failed attempts at hitting on me later, and one insistence that his comment about how, if I ever want to fuck a man up the ass, I should call him, was a joke...He left. And then my mind started screaming about how I shouldn't tell strangers who know where I work so much about myself so freely. With people I talk to online it's different (Although I still refuse to give out my name), but he walked in off the street, a total stranger.

And now I'm scared, because he knows where I work and looking back he seemed rather...Intense. Focused. And while that can turn me on sometimes, with someone like him it just puts my hackles up.

What if this guy is like the boy that I had far too close of an experience with when I was sixteen? As it is, only one day do I leave the store alone at night, and now that the days are getting longer, when I leave on that solitary day the sun's still setting. I walk by multiple open businesses to get to my bus stop, one of which is a gas station so close to the bus stop that I can have conversations with the people working there while waiting for my bus. So why am I so worried, again?

Because I can't remember if I told him what area of town I live in. And there's only one mall in that area of town, and I definitely go there often...So I'm nervous. That he'll take the creepy an extra level.

I need to either calm my paranoia or do something about it...


Aside from that, I've been growing out the hair on my mound as a whim (Keeping the lips shaved, though, for some reason feeling my own hair brush my inner thighs squicks me out), and I'm starting to quite like it. Plus now if anyone who knows me intimately asks, yes, yes I do have naturally auburn hair. I'm still getting used to feeling it with my fingers though. But I do like it.

I bought several things from work on Friday and Saturday, not the least of which was a lovely Spartacus riding crop, but I'll babble on about those in their own post sometime in the next couple days.

Gypsy